Recently I have been feeling very down, my thoughts range all over the spectrum. I meet new people and instead of getting to know people I almost become them. It's like I am connected to how they think.. It has been straining my emotions and today it really hit me hard. From suicidal thoughts, am I really this persons child or this strangers child.. I am beginning to think it's just loneliness.. the lack of being with people that is making me feel like I don't fit in or don't belong. I am trying but sometimes there is only do as Yoda would go on about. So how to get out of this mentality. Tired of the same old frivolity of the people I once knew.. How do I remove the stain of another persons emotional imprint on my thought processes? It wears me out because I am very sensitive to others emotions and when they feel some way I feel that way.. and as it goes if I am already dealing with my own baggage it tears me down to level of complacency that a younger me would scoff at. Yes, I have been through many emotional roller coasters and yes this won't be the last. I just need to get it on the right track so I am actually living and not just feeling like a yo yo on a string.
Consider…
Detachment..try to become familiar with what it is, as well as what it is not, and at the same time begin trying to gain some yourself…it starts with identifying those things that you think or feel very strongly, then analyze to an extent, to determine what caused it or where it originated from, whether that be an occurrence or some words, actions, or even your own thoughts…after identifying the cause of its origination, then begin to look at that, and try to determine if it serves a good purpose, or has any use to you and if it does not, then abandon it and continue to do so for at least a 30 day period, after that point it becomes a habit and is then far easier to do…obviously, all things are best when they exist in a balance, and im sure that this is no different. Detachment is not the same as being cold, or emotionally dead, or not caring, which are some of the things that people assume it means. It is a more accurate way of explaining/defining it to say that in a calm and detached state, one remains on the middle path, refusing to be swayed by anything they might encounter, to one side or the other….it never means that you don't or can;t feel, but it is a state that one can learn to put into practice, and once accomplished it makes things far easier to identify, and then to deal with in whatever is the best way to do so…i will not lie, it is not an easy thing to come by, it DOES require some work and some honest effort, but once accomplished, it is VERY freeing and is certainly very beneficial to any who assumes a detached way of living.