Submitted by Thaum Aesch Niaeth on
In general, our society really fails us in offering beneficial attitudes and role models for aging. Though aging was not something I thought a lot about in my younger years, I did not have any bias against the aging process either. Elders were easier to talk to, had less drama, and would take the time to listen and reflect on life with me. My life experiences and family relationships taught me that getting older would be fine and aging was a natural part of life. Perspective is everything.
Aging Seen as Negative
As I arrive “over the hill”, now fully ensconced in my 60’s, I notice the perspective of enjoying aging is not a widely shared view. In fact, women, in particular, pay a hefty price in the aging arena. We are constantly bombarded by the cultural marketing machine which delights in focusing on everything that we are not. I call bullshit. I want to age differently. I’d love to shift the conversation with my peers from being disempowered to empowerment. The negative connotations of eldering will continue in their current state unless we demand something different.
Shift in Perspective
A new eldering paradigm cultivates an attitude that honors our value. We are creating the new roadmap and becoming the new role models for a society that will continue to live longer. We have the opportunity to open the doorway, to forge the path of aging consciously, successfully, and mindfully. As we pioneer the aging process, we can honor our ripening by making life-enhancing choices to become both radiant and wise. And I can definitely get on board with that.
As parents and community members, we try everything in our power to support our young people with healthy self-esteem, confidence, skills and resilience. Why then, do we sell ourselves short past 50? Why do we let ourselves be sold to, convinced that aging is negative, to be avoided and fought against? Why is older, experienced and hopefully wiser, not better? If “youth is wasted on the young”, then why are we not taking the lessons and experiences learned, and putting them to better use for ourselves and our communities? As Pioneers of the Conscious Aging Process, let’s reframe what it means to get old, and claim the beauty, the wisdom and the honor of aging.
Reframing the Mind
The midlife mind trap slogan is often, “It’s all downhill from here.” We often fail to recognize the bounty of a long-lived life if we get fixated on fear of death. Many of us do not value ourselves and honor our time, thereby we are complicit in that failing. It is up to us to set the standard for how society views and treats aging people. Rather than feeling like “It’s all downhill,” my mindset is that there is no time left to waste. The new journey for us becomes, “How do I do age consciously, mindfully, and with intention?”
As I entered my midlife journey, I realized certain relationships no longer nurtured me, I had no patience for mindless conversations, and I discovered my new mantra, “Whatever is not truth falls away.” Rather than fighting against the reality of aging and feeling morbid, this aging/eldering journey fascinates me. I do not have time for the anti-aging mindset. I do not find it helpful or constructive. Consider for yourself: do you really have time for anything less than an intentional and meaningful aging journey? Does it feel effective to put energy into avoiding the inevitable reality of aging? I’ve chosen to keep exploring the deep and rich river of conscious eldering.
This process is not always sweet smelling roses and easy. Often aging feels to the contrary, but it is the journey that my body, mind, and spirit are on.
Kerry Temple-Wood