Submitted by Old on
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It is NEVER a good idea to lie today but today that is all we seem to see all around us in the media, at work and in even our neighborhoods. The following is not meant as a tutorial that supports lying but rather a perspective of how those good liars out there operate.
Writing for Esquire in 1969, Gore Vidal laid bare a “demagogic strategy” William F. Buckley used to befuddle opponents:
"If one is lying, accuse others of lying. On television this sort of thing is enormously effective in demoralizing the innocent and well-mannered who, acting in good faith, do not lie or make personal insults. Buckley has made many honorable men look dishonest fools by his demagoguery, and by the time they recover from his first assault and are ready to retaliate, the program is over."
Why is this effective? Because the thought of lying in public, where a judge, policeman or journalist might hear, gives good citizens the cold sweats. The mere accusation unleashes the bad conscience of the regular taxpayer and snaps his mind neatly in half. Did I fail to give a full and accurate account? Am I guilty of an act of omission, if not commission? Could I have used a more charitable adjective? Perhaps I did mischaracterize certain of my honorable friend’s views, etc.
https://dangerousminds.net/comments/how_to_lie_in_14_steps_the_wikihow_guide_to_dishonesty
10 Rules for establishing an effective Lie -
1. Keep your lie simple. Include details that make your lie seem legitimate, but not so many that it becomes complicated. An elaborate lie means more details that you have to keep track of and can often mean more explaining. A simple, straightforward lie is easier to maintain.
For example, an elaborate lie might be, “I’m late because when I got onto I-70, it was so backed up that I had to reverse all the way down the entrance ramp and I ended up taking country roads instead.” A simple version of that lie would be, “Traffic was pretty backed up on I-70.”
The simplicity of the lie can show that you don’t have any other details to add to it.
2. Avoid including other people in the lie. Using someone as a witness or alibi makes your lie more complicated than it needs to be. If the person you lie to checks your alibi, they may find out you lied.
If you use someone else in your lie, be sure to tell them. Some people may not appreciate being part of your lie.
If you are planning a lie ahead of time, at least talk to the person and see if they are willing to cover for you, as opposed to telling them after you already used them in a lie.
3. Make your lie plausible. When you lie, only include information that is believable. Don’t exaggerate to a point where the listener will start to question what you are saying. Make your lie as realistic as possible.[1]
Be critical of your own lie and see if it seems reasonable. Don't use only your own judgment but think about if the person you are lying to will find it reasonable.
For example, telling your wife that a bird flew in the house and broke her lamp is not a plausible lie. Telling her you stumbled over the dog and knocked the lamp over is more plausible.
4. Include something truthful in the lie. Completely false lies may be more easily detected, but if you sprinkle truth into the lie it is more believable. Find a way to show proof that part of your lie is true to strengthen the lie as a whole.[2]
It is easier to express real emotion when you tell the truth than it is when you lie. If you emphasize the true part you can mask your emotions.
For example, you stayed out late with a group of friends that included your ex-girlfriend Holly. Tell your current girlfriend, “I was hanging out with Carl, Stacy, and Steve.” It’s true that you were with those people, but you’re lying about Holly being there, too.
5. Lie before you have to. You can avoid lying under pressure by initiating the conversation about the subject you are lying about. Lie voluntarily before you are asked anything. The listener may not think you are lying since you volunteered the information.
If the person you are lying to is already upset or suspicious, they are more likely to be critical of the lie you offer. If they have not thought of the situation yet, they may be more likely to accept what you say without further questions.
If you go see your friend’s band and they sound terrible, go up to them after the set and say, “You guys rocked!” before they have a chance to ask you about it.
6. Keep your hands away from your face. Liars tend to fidget with their hands a lot. Keep your hands at your sides if you are standing or on your lap if you are sitting. Don’t rub your chin or your nose. Don’t run your hands through your hair.
7. Remain still. Swaying back and forth, tapping your foot, or generally moving a lot are signs that you are lying. Don’t shrug your shoulders a lot either. Keeping your whole body relaxed and unmoving adds poise to your appearance, and it will keep people from being suspicious.
8. Keep your arms open and not folded. Folding the arms is considered closed off posture and when you lie it is a giveaway to people. Don’t cross your arms. Keep them at your sides, or if you are sitting down, lay your hands on your lap.
9. Control your blinking. Liars tend to blink nervously, and it’s an easy sign for people to notice. Also be aware that keeping your eyes open for too long can become suspicious, so make a conscious effort to blink as you normally would.
7. Use eye contact to your benefit. One of the surest signs that someone is lying is shifting their eyes away from the listener. You can control your eye contact to mask your lie. Make enough eye contact to make the person believe you. You have to find a balance between too little eye contact and too much. If you stare at the person without looking away you will seem as suspicious as if you never meet their eyes.
8. Keep your body facing the person you’re lying to. Turning your body to the side or turning away is seen as a sign that you are trying to hide something. Make sure that your body stays angled toward them. Keep your eyes in their direction, as well, and don’t stare off into the distance.
9. Use physical touch to create intimacy. When you are lying, appropriately touch the person you are lying to. Place your hand on their shoulder, grab their hand, or gently touch their leg if you are sitting by them. By touching them you will soften them toward you and make them more trusting. You need to take account of whether or not you are in a close enough relationship with the person to initiate physical touch with them. In many situations, this won’t be the case.
10. Keep your voice normal. Another unconscious change that occurs when you lie is that the pitch of your voice gets higher. Actively moderate the pitch of your voice so that stays at the your usual level. Make sure your voice is appropriate to the situation. The fact that the voice pitch rises during a lie is somewhat common knowledge, so people may be listening for it if they suspect you of lying. You can even speak slightly lower than you normally would to balance out the tendency to go higher. Also pay attention to your tone and volume so that it is appropriate to the situation. Don’t speak with a cheerful tone if you need to sound sorry or a serious tone if your lie should sound encouraging.
1-10 Wikihow staff, https://www.wikihow.com/Lie
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