Submitted by One Good Reason on
Sometimes, the worst critics aren’t others, but ourselves. What do you do when there’s poison inside of you? You remove it. But it’s not so easy as pushing an eject button and having it pop out, especially if the toxic is disguised as bad habits or unhealthy self-perceptions. A thought isn’t so easily discarded. But with enough practice, they can be questioned and better managed each time we aren’t so kind to ourselves. We want to help you become more self-aware.
1. You blame yourself for things out of your control.
It’s good to take responsibility for the mistakes you make because that’s how you get better at doing something. But when you’re too hard on yourself, it’s easy to forget that you’re human, too. When something doesn’t go the way you planned or expected it to, you begin to beat yourself up over it, even though you tried your best. Sometimes, waiting out the storm is the only option we have. Instead of blaming yourself, accept what you cannot change and focus on the things you can to make the situation better.
2. You focus on the things you haven’t accomplished yet.
It’s great to be ambitious and actively work towards reaching your goals. But if you begin to compare your own success to someone else’s, then you may start to forget the progress you’ve made. Rather than feeling like you’re not achieving enough, learn to appreciate your own journey. Everyone grows at a different pace, and just because you’re not where you’d like to be yet does not mean you’ll never get there. Eventually, you will. Just keep going, do your best, and work on slowly climbing up the mountain. Remember, there’s no such thing as overnight success.
3. It’s hard for you to accept other people’s compliments.
When you’re hard on yourself, you fall into the cycle of negative self-talk. As a result, even when someone gives you a genuine compliment, you perceive it as a lie—not because they didn’t mean it, but because your self-criticism alters the image you see of yourself. Give your self-esteem a boost by surrounding yourself with close loved ones who see the best in you. When you spend time with people who remind you to practice self-love, you learn how to be more accepting of your quirks and flaws.
4. You’re dismissive of your own ideas.
We may not all be mad scientists or gifted artists, but we’re all capable of being creative. But if you’re quick to shoot down your own ideas before sharing them with others, then you may be too hard on yourself. Rather than quickly attaching judgment to an idea, allow it to bloom into action first before letting go of it. You never know until you try. Realize that you have the potential to do anything if you set your mind to it. Often, we’re afraid of implementing ideas because of failure. But ideas are stepping stones to progress, not perfection.
5. You dwell on the mistakes you’ve made.
When you focus too much on what you did wrong, you get stuck in the past which prevents you from moving forward. Instead of beating yourself up over mistakes you’ve made, reflect on them so you can use them as learning moments. It’s impossible to go through life without failing, getting hurt, and hurting others (even if it’s unintentional). It’s good to care about how your actions affect others, but it’s another thing entirely when you allow your guilt to consume you.
6. You rarely give yourself a break.
Putting pressure on yourself isn’t productive if it only makes you feel worse. When you feel worse, you also begin to perform worse. Sometimes, it’s good to take a step back, focus on the big picture, and remember to have fun every once in a while. If you only work your life away, constantly chasing your dreams, you lose out on spending time with loved ones and making memories you can look back on when you grow older. So slow down, catch the sunset, and let go.
https://psych2go.net/6-signs-you-may-be-too-hard-on-yourself/