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According to Webster’s Dictionary, the definition of criticize is to “find fault with”, or “to judge the merits and faults of;  analyze and evaluate”.

 “Of course, there are primarily two kinds of criticism. One kind of criticism is good. Another kind of criticism is bad. Good criticism is presented to a listener in love and kindness. Good criticism is thought out beforehand, then shared insightfully. It is criticism meant to do good for the one spoken to. It is information presented in a way that might best be received by the one spoken to for his or her personal wellbeing. Bad criticism, on the other hand, targets the one criticized in a spirit of anger, frustration, impatience and irritation. So, why do we people criticize negatively, I mean the bad criticism? Let us be clear, the reason we criticize in a bad way is "never" to change another. Instead it is to change ourselves. When we as humans criticize in venting rage or anger, we attack in another that other person's greatest gift, in order to conceal an opposite and polarizing flaw or wrong in ourselves.” ~ Jim Hogue MA, MFT

 I have drawn a relatively decent appraisal of why people engage criticism:

They get an immediate hit of instant gratification now matter what the reason.

They criticize because you have an opinion. If you express yourself with passion and conviction about anything, someone, somewhere isn’t going to like it. Period. Criticizers may be jealous that you are achieving something they do not have the courage to do and the criticism becomes a justification band aid for that boo-boo. Perhaps some solace can be found in the fact that through your words or writings you are reaching those who appreciate the message and perhaps even found something useful or even enlightening about what you have expressed.

They criticize because of a superiority complex or conversely because of insecurity. Some people actually have experience fear if you don’t believe in something or think the same way they do. It must be torn down and annihilated because, well it’s just too scary on a psychological level (even if it regards to the spiritual) to deal with. If it’s not baseline insecure fear then perhaps it falls in the category of superiority and superiority is born of misguided pride.

Of course the previously listed obviously reflect a need for control. There are even some who recognize this about themselves and simply don’t care. They feel they are “perfect” and “justified” just the way they are.

Then there are the criticism cover-ups … “This is just the way I am and I’m not changing it; I’m just being honest; I’m just being realistic; My caring is mistakenly coming across as critical; Oh! I had no idea I was being critical.”

The grand biggie, the ultra Kahuna and Grand Master of criticism is because there is no accountability and the net is a breeding ground of that. Think about it, it’s easier to deliver hurtful blows, sitting there in a bathrobe chugging a beer and belching away protected behind a computer screen where no one knows you or can see you. The net is a coward’s haven. But! You have defense – there always is the delete button!

It has been said that criticisms are merely opinions that point out the need for a new path… but in which direction? Some deliverers care for us and want us to change, Others may be jealous and want us to fail and even fall. What is important is how each of us validates criticism. Do we allow it to rob us and foster lack of confidence which deters us from creating and growing or do we gain new found will to do whatever it is that we feel is best for us?

The need to criticize simply belies a longing for recognition, appreciation, and validation. None of which, however, can be obtained through criticism …