“Ye have brought this man unto me, as one that perverteth the people; and behold, I, having examined him before you, have found no fault in this man touching those things whereof ye accuse him.” – Pontius Pilate

Ever felt crucified? I was recently the target of an internet stalker and general hater/bully who decided he did not like some artwork and poetry I had posted on an art share site. He hacked into my personal page got my email and started emailing me with accusations and threats complete with screen shots of my work which he called a “compendium of truth” (the majority contrived).  In short, he was building a dossier of lies about me in order to ruin any future sales I might make on my artistic renderings. It is a frightening, humiliating and upsetting experience to discover you are a victim of false accusations.

Slanderer, Libeller, Liar - To defame or discredit by the circulation of libellous statements; to accuse falsely and maliciously ...

Unfortunately I was quick to learn that this type of behavior is a common thing on the internet.  I never acknowledged this person being that it was not worth perpetuating the madness by trying to defend myself against his lies which would have fed his ego and only would have kept the wheel turning. I know who I am and feel no need to go defensive. The problem is that the first instinct when someone accuses you is to restore safety or use contrasting to solve the misunderstanding, but the accuser does not seem to be affected by those actions. Instead, they continue to draw incorrect conclusions about you or something you did. In my heart of hearts I feel fairly certain that my stalker is a competitor I actually know (who is actually dishonest by practice) but I have no intention of posting such a thing. I did take the time to research this type of behavior and presented here are some snippets from here and there they may be of help to anyone who might be presented with this problem.

The following passages are from  http://datingasociopath.com and they describe well in layman’s terms the type of sociopathic personality this sort of hater portrays:

The sociopath will always accuse you of doing the very thing that they are guilty of themselves. They do this to deflect the attention from them.

Examples of this are

• Accusing you of cheating
• Accusing you of being dishonest or lying
• Accusing you of talking about them
• Accusing you of doing whatever it is that they are guilty of themselves

You see the sociopath, is actually fairly intelligent. He knows that whilst you are busy defending yourself, and proving your innocence, you will be confused, and will forget about the real issue, the truth that you are close to uncovering about the sociopath … It’s all a game to the sociopath. Life is a game. With little inside themselves they spend most of their life playing stupid mind games.

… There are two things that are important to the sociopath

• Winning
• Control

If you were to catch him out in a lie, he would neither win, or be in control. So he will do anything that he can do, to win the game, and control the game.

All sociopaths will at some point or another display a sense of moral outrage. This is displayed, as fake often over the top outrage about something that they consider very ‘immoral’. This gives the sense and belief to the outsider that the sociopath is a good guy/gal. The audience receives the message of a moralistic person who is honest, and truthful, a good person. Of course, this is just an illusion and the reality is nothing like the act that is now being played on stage.

Sociopaths can display moral outrage about lots of different things

• Standards of other people
• Items that are in the news, politics and current affairs
• Anything that is a sense of ‘injustice’
• Anything that they can point out to be just ‘morally wrong’

Moral outrage achieves the following for the sociopath:

• Takes attention from their own actions (deflection)
• Reflects them in a good or different light to who they really are
• Makes them appear stronger than they actually are
• Diversion tactics
• Attention seeking behaviour
• Makes you feel that you should also feel this way, and if you don’t then you must be ‘bad’ (another mind control and brain washing technique)
• Dupers delight and the joy of conning
• Is part of the mask of disguise

That is all that it is.

***

Some further good advice from Dr. Phil:

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/217

• Life Law #8: You Teach People How to Treat You. If you walk into the world, and you're hanging your head, and you kind of don't want to look anybody in the eye, and you're shameful, then people will treat you that way. You have to be your own best friend, and you have to decide who you are at the core. Begin the process of closure by not reacting to what you think people are saying about you. If you allow yourself to be intimidated, feel guilty or shrink away because of what people think, you are putting yourself in a prison.
•  Don't try to address every accusation. If you decide to start defending yourself, that will become your full-time job. If you answer every story, every piece of gossip, every allegation in your life, that's all you will ever do. You will be completely consumed by this, and it will take over your life.
• Stop reacting to the rumors. You give it legs by reacting to it. Don't draw attention to yourself defending the rumor. You need to give yourself permission to just live your life. If there are people out there who think something about you that you don't like, then those won't be your friends. There will be other people who will like and respect you for who you are, and they will be your friends.

And from https://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/FalseAccusations.html

• Non-personality-disordered individuals can sometimes be stunned to discover that the personality disordered individual in their lives completely believes a false reality that they have invented. It is common for non-personality-disordered individuals to spend a great deal of effort fruitlessly trying to reason, cajole or argue with a personality disordered individual into “snapping out of it”, “waking up and smelling the coffee” or “facing the facts”. It can be hard for non-personality-disordered individuals to accept that for a person who is dissociating, the denials they are expressing are the facts - at least at that time - for them.
• Under such circumstances, standard communication or negotiation techniques are ineffective - since they are built on the premise that both parties can agree on what the facts are and can work towards a compromise.
• Arguing or trying to reason with a person who is dissociating will typically result in a frustrating  Circular Conversation.

***

Guilt by association …

"You shall not bear a false report; do not join your hand with a wicked man to be a malicious witness.” EXODUS 23:1

Just because you “think” something is “that” doesn’t mean it really is “that”.

Sometimes these people are self righteously convinced that there is a problem when there is in fact no problem. Often they don’t do their homework and fully examine what they believe is evidence which just as often turns out not to be evidence at all. They try to irrationally create something factual based upon their opinions. This works as a stress reliever for the accuser. It’s sort of mirrors the Salem Witch hunts. A certain percentage of people love to jump on that type of badwagon (pun intended) but most are not that gullible. I feel it is very helpful not to over-analyze false claims. If someone believes something untrue, that is their problem, not yours. Some psychologists believe that if someone says something which you believe isn’t true, it is appropriate to state your truth clearly. Once. Repeat ONCE. In my case I did not bother.

In case you are wondering if all the public scandal affected my means of living in any way, it did not. If anything my sales are up. IDK – maybe it’s karma.