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Whether you like it or not, there are things that you do that make people dislike you. Have you ever walked into a room and there was a know-it-all in the vicinity?
You could whip up a conversation on any topic and that person would act as an expert. Before you can even gather your emotions and thoughts, you already dislike the person. On the other hand, you might be that person that has something to say about everything.
The problem is that we aren’t always aware of the things that we do that make people dislike us. See if you can spot your behavior in the list below.
1. Asking too many questions
When you lead a conversation, asking questions to steer the topics is good. It tells the other person that you are interested in them. You need to be careful to not ask too many though. This can come off as an interrogation if you don’t reciprocate and also tell something of your own experiences.
You need to balance the conversation and spill the beans from time to time. The Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that people start to dislike you when you are the only one asking questions. This could be in direct communication or through written communication like emails.
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2. Turning strengths into weaknesses
There is a term called humblebragging and it basically means that that you turn one of your strength into a weakness, like working too hard, or being a perfectionist.
Studies have shown that possible employers don’t like this and it can come across as someone who cannot be frank or direct. If you get asked what your weaknesses are in an interview, call a spade a spade.
3. Giving weak handshake
Have you ever greeted someone and found that they have a weak handshake? It turns out that you are not the only one who has found it off-putting when someone cannot shake your hand properly.
When someone has a weak handshake, they come across as someone who cannot manage pressure and becomes anxious when the heat is on. In a study done by the University of Alabama, it was found that undergraduates who had a weak handshake were less positive, likable and more socially anxious.
4. Leave your Emoji’s for social media
The whole world has become obsessed with social media. The thing is that it is meant to be social and not professional. Employers often find that their employees come off as less competent when they use emoji’s in their official emails.
Many people use the argument that they feel that they appear to be nicer when they use emoji’s, but this is far from the truth. It only succeeds in sending the message that you are immature.
5. Dropping a personal bomb
Being honest is probably one of the most important things you can do in an interview or when you go out on a date. You want to present the best version of you as possible.
What you don’t want to do, though, is to disclose something extremely personal too early. This sends the message that you are inappropriate and cannot read the social signs and triggers. Susan Sprecher at Illinois State University found that speaking about hobbies and likes and dislikes will make you seem warmer and more likable.
6. You hide your emotions
Somewhere along the line, it became common practice for people to hide their emotions. This is not the same as controlling your emotions, though. Studies have shown that people react better to a truthful display of emotions than hiding them.
When you control your emotions, you can express anger and sadness in appropriate ways, but people will know you are angry. Don’t keep your emotions inside, it is bound to burst out into the open.
7. Don’t sweat it man
Some people get really anxious when they are faced with social situations. Regardless of whether they are introverts or not, they will let you know that they are feeling the heat.
In the worst-case scenarios, they become so stressed that they become sweaty and release an odor. This stress-induced sweat smells different and deters people. If you can’t hide it, at least use some antiperspirant.
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8. Smile and wave
In a recent study, it was revealed that people respond better to other people who smiled as opposed to those who didn’t.
When you are at a work function, or when you need to receive people, it can be hard to smile the whole time, but you should try nonetheless. They will feel more welcome and perceive you as a person who is open and approachable.
9. Having a difficult name
You need to thank your parents for this, but it was found that people with names that were difficult to pronounce were less liked than the average Joe. Although it’s not your fault, you should come up with a nickname and fast. There might be opportunities going amiss because of your difficult name.
10. Don’t drop names
This one is a chart-topper. Never drop names when you are in a conversation. If someone doesn’t ask, you don’t need to spell it out for them. People take this as a sign that you think you are superior and move in other circles. Play it humble and if someone asks you, keep it to the point.
To conclude:
There are bound to be things that you do that will put people off. None of us are perfect, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try and change the way you do things. Coming up with solutions to alter your behavior and ignore other’s negative vibes is easy. All you need is the ‘intention’. Think, and act now.
Sharon Hooper