Submitted by Gnagy on
‘Suffering is neither unendurable nor everlasting, if you keep its limits in mind and do not add to it through your own imagination.’ – Epicurus
Whether grieving loss or separation, or experiencing the tension of fatigue or anxiety, the reins of suffering are softened whenever we put things into perspective and remind ourselves that it’s going to pass. Whereas if we sternly plow through the day, and elbow everything in our way, we add fuel to our impassioned dismay, thus speedily turn the hair on our head into grey.
How many times have we encountered a situation and walked away from it feeling distraught or downhearted, but later realized that we were tired and/or agitated before entering the scene. Knowing the temperature of our emotional intensity before we enter into some kind of action can help us to better deal with whatever should come our may.
So for instance, if we are feeling anxious or overly eager, we can choose a suitable virtue by which to bring about equanimity or an appropriate demeanour. Depending on the particulars of the situation, it may be in our best interest to apply patience with a touch of kindness. Then again, depending on the severity and what is at stake, it may be best to reconvene, or simply avoid making hasty decisions then & there.
Not all circumstances call for the same degree of virtuous action, and if you sense that your capacity to reason has been impaired in some way, then you may have to gracefully bow out, even if a significant other is trying to impose a condition on you that appears to be in your favour. But what if somehow you are left holding the bag for not being able to respond right away; what sort of preparatory action can you take to avoid being manipulated.
This is probably why prudence (practical reason) is often associated with its subordinate virtue; namely, foresight. The greater our capacity to envision in light of sound principles, the easier it is to stay clear of slippery slopes or potential pitfalls, including contracts with those who act contrary to their agreements.
Now what if we already behaved ourselves into a lose/lose situation, or even a win/lose, or a lose/win for that matter, which often leads to a lose/lose over time. In other words, what if we unconsciously put ourselves into an unfortunate tangle and are uncertain how to break free; well, to reflect upon the advice of Epicurus above, it may be helpful to avoid contorting the problem and look for alternative ways to improve upon things.
The very fact that we have made poor decisions is a testament to the truth that we can also make better decisions. So rather than give into pessimism – which can also serve as a way to remove the debilitating impact of erroneous beliefs – we can avoid the extremes of naïve bubble like positivity and the dark spiraling gravity of negativity. Establishing limitations and boundaries can remove the sting of suffering if they are well thought out before hand and applied in a careful way.
Jason Youngman
Read more @ https://metaphysicaldiscourse.wordpress.com/2021/03/27/avoid-unnecessary-suffering/