Image by warpaintcobra from http://123rf.com

I saw Cthulhu the other day. He was hanging around our government leaders in Washington, DC.  Since he has the ability to communicate with individuals who are particularly creative or arguably predisposed to suffer from bouts of insanity it is a perfect fit. Cthulhu is known for driving men to the brink of insanity so that he may rise again. Of course he didn’t have to do that in DC as most there are already insane but they did captured his attention and now he desires to finish the job.

He was enjoying himself amidst the chaos and power grabs that continue to go on and was tickled pink by the distress suffered by the people because of the insane policies that have the people in a tight grip of fear and depression. Squeezing people in his mighty far-reaching claws of despair is his specialty. What’s that you say? You don’t know who Cthulhu is? Let me enlighten you...

He is a fictional indestructible and all powerful beast ‘alien god’ created by writer H.P. Lovecraft. He’s a top notch 4 star monster who has been used in stories by other authors such as Robert Bloch, Stephen King, Neil Gaiman and Alan Moore. In addition to metafiction, the mythos inspired music (much of it instrumental), horror movies, and, perhaps most notably, games, including board games, card games, tabletop role-playing games, and video and online games. Not surprising since he knows how to promote himself with the human race.

Cthulhu is characterized as the priest or leader of the Old Ones, a species that came to Earth from the stars before human life arose. Cthulhu is immortal and has great strength and can endure great amounts of damage and can only be killed by the omnipotent power (which by the way, the human race has almost completely turned their backs on). The Old Ones went dormant, and their city slipped under Earth’s crust beneath the Pacific Ocean. They communicated with humans by telepathy, and, in hidden corners of the world, uncivilized people remembered and worshipped Cthulhu in rites described as loathsome. When conditions are right, the city will rise, and, with the help of the eternal Cthulhu cult, Cthulhu will awaken and again rule the world.

And since he is already here, what will Cthulhu do?

Nothing good.

Nothing short of disastrous.

It’s all as easy as licking salt off a pretzel to Cthulhu.

What does Cthulhu know about the human race and how it is governed by fools that oddly enough they have placed in positions of power?

Humans have always been duped by the promise of “progress.” Moving towards a better life – a Utopia. It is rarely viable in reality, but the way politicians present it and schools indoctrinate from an early age it is do-able. The favored term associated with it is “free”. You will get whatever you want for “free” AND you won’t have to work or participate except when you are told to perform government tasks and end up living in wall to wall government provided housing consisting of two rooms and a bathroom (that’s the deluxe model only granted to those who have achieved incredibly crazy beyond the norm – the rest get a tent). Government will give you everything including a food ration and the uniform on your back and the Cthulhu tattoo on your forehead that you wear with pride because you “belong” and now have the life you wanted. If you become ill, the government will decide if you get care of if it is more feasible to let you die and deliver your body to the local Soylent Green Factory. Remember Soylent Green? IT IS people. People will be food. Enjoy your dinner. Enjoy the monotony. You bought and paid for it with your freedom and it wasn’t a cheap price.

“What? “ You protest.

“That’s not fair!”

Sure it is – everyone is the “same.” In a liberal society everyone is the same. No distinctions. Except of course for Cthulhu and his crony beasts and a few humans who are beyond the pale of evil who sit at the top and call themselves the government. Your government. What you chose just a short time ago and you will do what you’re told. No choices. Period. Life as you knew it is gone.

Now you may ask – Am I crazy for penning this diatribe? Let’s face it – it is a bit out there.

Your answer:

Cthulhu made me do it.

He’s here.

He’s coming for you next to take you to the Dark Side.