Derivative Images

How many ungrateful people do you know? Seems there are plenty of them to go around these days. Basically there are a few standard psychological reasons people display in gratitude:

A matter of ego.

A matter of feeling less because they were given something and the giver is interpreted as being stronger and better than themselves and they feel humiliated.

A matter of entitlement. They feel they are entitled to whatever they are given.

On a lesser level:

• They were never taught to be polite or they were taught and forgot
• They just assume you and the world are there to serve them (Millennials and entitled generations
• The person takes you for granted and “assumes” you’ll understand they’re grateful
• They are or were so stressed about whatever it was the thought simply slipped their mind (can happen - I’ve done this)
• They’re professional victims who just assume others are supposed to take care of them
• It’s not in their culture to thank others (narcissists etc.)

Often if you do something nice for someone you’ll get, “I never asked for this so why should I say thank-you?”

Why indeed.

But, there is always the spiritual aspect:

Being ungrateful is borne out of thoughtlessness. Being thoughtful helps us to have empathy which also aids our developing initiatives. By nature and nurture, some people are more thoughtful than the others.

Thinking being a serious mental exercise demands a lot more self-control; making use more of our cognitive sense. Where this has been poorly developed as a result of poor upbringing, the result is lack of empathy and, consequently, lack of initiative to do good to others or appreciate the good others do to us.

The mind to do good is the same mind that appreciates what good others had done to us. The spirit of giving is the spirit of thanksgiving. This is why it’s usually those who give and do good to others that do appreciate more the good others do to them. Most ungrateful people hardly do good to others, except to get something in return. Theirs is doing good as barter! But for others who are usually more grateful, it’s like sowing seeds and waiting for the harvest! ¹

As for myself, I give in two ways. Usually I give because I feel moved to do so, often a small gesture OR with an expectation of thanks and acknowledgement because I believe there is a relationship of some kind there. If I don’t get any acknowledgement, or it feels forced or begrudging, I just don’t give to that person again.

Of course the higher road is to give and forget about it (as stated above) and just walk around detached but once in a while maybe it’s best to be a teacher and point it out.

¹ Gideon Oladepo

https://www.quora.com/Why-are-some-people-so-ungrateful