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Abhor is from Latin abhorrere — "to shrink back in horror." It is the strongest way in English to express hatred, even stronger than loathe.

Almost everyone experiences hate at one time or another. It is usually short-lived and part of the human cathartic process but there are times when it might manifest as active on-going hostility that takes up a tremendous amount of personal energy and grows into unshakeable fixation that literarlly debilitates the individual. TDS or Trump Derangement Syndrome is a good example. Psychologists are still in a quandry over that one.

I have personally never been of the habit of loathing or abhorring someome to the point of self-destruction. As a healer, I consider myself a compassionate being which in many ways has been a blessing in my life. It has taught me to hate the sin rather then the sinner as the old adage goes. My pet peeve however is humiliation by another person. The motive of humiliation is to make a another person feel powerless and invalidated. This happens because the "hater" instead of turning their own anxiety and shame inward has chosen to project their negativity upon a chosen target aka the "hatee." It literaly inflates their ego and makes them feel powerful. Yes, the whole thing is disproportional as most forms of insanity tend to be.

Coping with hatred can be difficult, especially when there’s no apparent cause for the hatred. Further, believing someone hates you can affect your mental health, and self-esteem. When hatefulness is used as a weapon it ends up in an endless loop of destruction for both the hater and hatee. There are consequences. Sure, everyone makes mistakes, but if you have deliberately projected hate onto to someone wilfully, remember, they may not always be able to forgive you no matter how much you regret it. Your words may be ingrained indeliblly upon their psyche and they may never trust you again.

Many believe that the opposite of hate is love but that is not true. The opposite of hate is detachment both emotional and mental. Why is that you ask? It is because both hate and love require attachment to someone or something so detachment is the key. That is why when you are feeling hate or anger, it is best to take a step back and avoid reacting in heat of the moment. It is difficult to make the right decisions when you are feeling hateful and angry.

A word about forgiveness.

"We punish other people for the same mistake a thousand times. Every time it comes in your memory, you judge them again and punish them again." — Miguel Angel Ruiz

Sometimes forgiveness feels impossible but it is part of detachment and the whole idea is to get rid of the nasty mess that is plaguing you. Reflection is important. It will show you that there is a lesson inherent within. Some lessons will be more difficult than others but the sooner you deal with it, the better. Stop obsessing over it. Release it and let it be. If it is unbearable seek counseling otherwise some discernment should see you through.

"The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new." - Socrates