Derivative Images

The idiomatic expression “a skeleton in the closet” refers to a hidden source of something scandalous or shameful. This is most commonly used when referring to something in the past that will cause potential ruin to a person or group of people when exposed. It also signifies an undisclosed fact about a person that would damage his social standing among the community were it revealed. 

In simple words, to have a skeleton in the closet means you have secrets and other past memories that you’d prefer to keep hidden from the world.

A skeleton can vary from things you’ve done such as one-night stands, to group feuds or betrayals, or even to extreme situations of something seen or done to you such as theft and murder. It doesn’t always have to be dark. Some “skeletons” may be of the embarrassing nature, such as awkward moments that are too awful to think about.* - Sherrie Johnson BA

So, do you have dark secrets you are keeping hidden? You may think thet are under control but you may also notice that they come back often to haunt you. This is because they leave a mark on your conscience. Now here is the important question - Why are you crucifying yourself? Why are you letting the circumstance eat away at your mind and cause you anxiety? It is not worth the cost to your mental health. So, what can you do about it?

• Reality Check ... Accept what happened. Yes, it is most likely very ugly, maybe horrid to you but pushing it to the back of your mind will not vanquish it and make it disappear.
• Make Peace ... Here is the hard part. You've recognized it and accepted it so now make peace with it. How? Stop the blame. No one made you the Skeleton Police. Try looking at the whole thing from a neutral position as if it were not your skeleton. If it was the problem of anotther person you would have no trouble looking at it, right? So take that stance and remove preconceived judgnment while doing it.
• Shake Hands ... Yes, shake hands with your Self and the lesson to be learned from the circunstance. When you see it for what it was and discern even a tidbit of good out of it any habit or stimulus that caused it in the first place will dissipate.
• Express yourself ... and there are other ways to do this beside pouring your heart out to someone which may be too embarrassing. Write it down and let it rip .Read it over, take a deep breath, then rip it up and throw it away or burn it. INW - put it to rest.
• Forgive ... This is another difficult part of the process. Forgive yourself and anyone else that was invovled. Remember, it will most likely be easier to forgive yourself than others but just realize that they are dealing with this thing as well and are not escaping unscathed. What happens to them is not your concern. Let go and let it be.
• Move on ... So, you made a poor choice, maybe even a bad one. You have processed it and now you are free. No one is defined by their mistakes. If you feel it necesssary, seek some professional help to assist you in climbing down the other side of the mountain of shame you created that lead you to masochism.  Your mental and emotional well-being are worth it. Besides the day may come when you laugh about the whole thing.

"The skeleton in the closet is not a desirable part of life but rather an inevitable part of it. The skeleton in the closet reminds us that we are not perfect and just like us, everyone errs. Our skeletons not only represent the mistakes or failures of our lives but more importantly, they represent the guilt, embarrassment and self deprecation preventing us from being self- assured, non-judgmental, conscious people." ** - Sherlon Leon

Don't play the lame shame blame game. There are better things to spend your time on.

http://www.animated-gifs.fr/category_horror/skeletons/index.php?page=8

* https://www.joincake.com/blog/skeletons-in-the-closet/

* https://medium.com/@sherlonleon/why-we-need-skeletons-in-our-closet-c0090a53e227