Have you ever been thrown under the proverbial "bus" so many times you can honestly say you have out done that good ole cat with nine lives at least a hundred times over?

"Thrown under the bus" is an odd little phrase. According to Wikipedia: To throw (someone) under the bus is an idiomatic phrase in American English meaning to sacrifice another person (often a friend or ally), who is usually not deserving of such treatment, out of malice or for personal gain.  This is fitting since the term conjures up a rather violent  yet also funny scenario. It applies to every type of relationship in life, intimate, friendship, business etc. and while it seem that the throwee is acquiring some sort of satisfaction over the thrown, that he/she intends to obliterate, there is another facet worth examining.

I counsel people for a living - the intention being to leave them with a little more self sufficiency than they had prior to the encounter. In this line of work it is more than noticeable that people love to talk about themselves (first) and their relationships (second) ... you know,  all those other people who have either done them right or wrong over the years. Sometimes certain conversations will be repeated many times and with each pass a few more portions of discontent  frosted with some icing of downright hatred will eek through.

Well, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

When you are painting others negatively, what you are acually doing is coloring your own self portrait. This gets even better than holding up the meta-mirror.

"In other words, how you speak about people characterizes the type of person you are; it shows your heart and all that is in it." - Thinking Man's Diva

This does not mean you should not describe a troubling situation. Believe it or not there are very few people who have the courage to confront the person with whom they have an issue and try to get to some sort of resolution mainly because they have  a bad case of "I'm right" dis-ease. It simply means you don't need to add so many adjectives that you end up on that street corner of vengeance standing at the busstop of projected assasination waiting to diabolically throw that rotten "so and so" under the bus.

"I'll take down that reputation so he/she will be ruined!"

"Let's see how his girlfriend/boyfriend feels about that now!"

SQUASH!

Now we all REALLY have something to gossip about!!!

Some people have developed what they think is a very clever mode of bus throwing which is to act falsely innocent while making implications that cannot be mistaken for anyone or anything else. These people lack responsibility more than the blatant-mouthed  bus throwers because they are absolutely self convinced they are correct and must get even. Doesn't matter how many times something may have been explained or attempts made at rationalization. The ego rules and the ears and brain are kept hostage. The sad part is that they are destined to repeat irresponsibility over and over so no actual realiztion has a chance. Isn't self-realization the ultimate spiritual goal?

In the end who really gets hurt? How you speak about others says how you feel about yourself. So, the next time you decide to throw someone under the bus, consider not just what you are saying about them but what you are saying about yourself.

Wouldn't it be better if we all just rode the bus?

Is that even possible?