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The necessity for and importance of boundaries is something you'll often hear metaphysicians tout. They will repeatedly tell you ... Developing and maintaining healthy boundaries is vital to your psychological growth and spiritual liberation AND when venturing into spirtitual realms, vital to your safety.
Absorb the following lesson:
Love they neighbor, but don’t pull down your hedge. – Ben Franklin, Sayings of Poor Richard
The ancient Mesopotamians were likely the first to erect fences since they were at the forefront of the Agricultural Revolution. Fences made sense in that interlopers, both two- and four-legged, likely helped themselves to the fruits and vegetables of their labor. Eventually, their communities grew into villages, then towns, and finally cities, which would become vast centers of power, fortresses encircled by high, ostensibly impregnable, walls.
We have come far since Mesopotamia, though the principle remains. Walls provide protection, but they also can lock or trap people inside involuntarily. Jails and prisons. So, they can constrict as well as restrict.
No wall has ever been built that cannot be breached. According to myth, the walls of Jericho tumbled when the Israelites blew their trumpets, and the Greeks surreptitiously got their wooden horse behind the walls of Troy. The catapult destroyed castles and fire made short work of wooden forts and stockades. As the Iron Curtain rusted, it proved not to be impervious to the flow of radio communication.
Fences and the like are often legal demarcations, therefore definitive. Boundaries, however, are not always as well-defined. In fact, they can be nebulous, a “sort-of-here” delineation. Correlative conceptually to boundary is territory, which suggests an open, broad expanse of unsettled land. Think of animals “marking their territory.”
We metaphorically use barrier and territorial words to describe our human condition. Gene Autry’s song, “Don’t Fence Me In.” Hedging bets. A wall of distrust. People barricading themselves in. Entering new territory professionally.
It is helpful to think of physical boundaries when considering one’s personal boundaries and the metaphorical language we use to describe the parameters of relationships. E.g., drawing a line in the sand and parents setting boundaries with their children. Both are non-permanent. An ocean wave or gust of wind can erase a line in the sand instantly, and as children mature, they need broader ranges to roam.
Interpersonal boundaries are similar. The more trusting we are with others, the more we are likely to allow them in and even take up residence in our inner space. To drive the point home with students, I would ask one to stand several feet away from me. I would make small talk as I slowly edged nearer, asking questions such as how lunch was. You can imagine the discomfort he felt when I got closer than arm’s reach. After all, it was his teacher entering his space rather than a friend.
As it is with gardens, farms, and ranches, various unwanted interlopers enter our personal spaces and cavort where and as they wont. Which presents a challenge for the individual: How to deal with them? Perhaps by first asking oneself pertinent questions: Why are they there in the first place? Did I invite them in? Did I allow them in? Did I set the terms and conditions from the beginning?
Maybe the intruder took for granted s/he could do whatever s/he wanted because s/he got little or no resistance in the past. In so doing, s/he gained control much as the Greeks using their wile against the Trojans.
Whether the intrusion is into one’s actual living space or personal life, it is a violation of one’s territory. Which prompts another question: How well did I mark my territory, if at all?
Personal boundaries are correlated to one’s inner power. Not only does every person have the right to define and set his/hers, but they are also critical for healthy relationships. For without them, resentment along with frustration can set in along potentially leading to greater unpleasant outcomes.