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The Dark Side

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Yin and Yang. Light and Dark. Night and Day. One side and the other side.

We think of everything coming in pairs, so naturally, to balance out someone’s good side there has to be a bad side, right? Everyone has done some things they are not proud of, but many have learned to accept that and love that about themselves as well. Everyone has done, and maybe is still doing some things they do not want to do, but that doesn’t mean it is officially a “darker” side. The darker and lighter side are always defined by the person seeing it.  - Lukas Schwekendiek 1

Yes. In fact, humans need a dark side, of sorts.

Anthropologists have identified many traits that appear universal for all humans - these appear in every single human culture we've ever encountered:

  • Lies and manipulation
  • Jealousy
  • Shame
  • Territoriality
  • Aggression and proscribed violence


And many more you might not be proud of.

The universality of these traits strongly suggests they're an innate mechanism of the human brain. Consider our evolutionary ancestors: primates, mammals - even reptiles - all share some variation of these traits.

The unpalatable truth is that our ancestors who didn't posses these 'dark' faculties were at a survival disadvantage against those who did. These qualities are not artifices for their own sake; they exist because they helped us survive.

For example, anger might be thought of as a quintessentially dark quality, but the absence of anger makes a person spineless and incapable of defending themselves against an aggressor. In fact, humans look down upon people who don't hold firm against their aggressors; we call them weak.

Shame? Helps you learn from mistakes, makes you lie low. Lies? Sometimes expedient (like not telling your captors where your tribe is). Sexual jealousy? Keeps you vigilant. Material jealousy? Drives you to compete. And so on.

Now I'm not saying these behaviours are right - merely that they exist, and for good reason. Sometimes our instincts can be reprehensible, and innateness is no defence. Through civilisation we've learnt, to a great extent, to control ourselves - but these qualities will always be a part of being human. - Oliver Emberton 2 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_universals )

Psychiatrist Carl Jung proposed we each have a dark side, which he called "the shadow," which consists of all the qualities which we actively want to deny that we have. Different for each person, some of those qualities could be jealousy, anger, being judgmental, selfish, or violent, having certain sexual desires or needs. Because you don't want to acknowledge these qualities within yourself, you repress them, but they come up as projections onto other people. When someone's behavior or lifestyle bothers you immensely, it's an example of what Martha Beck calls the "You Spot It, You've Got It Syndrome." You are bothered by another's traits, because you actually have them, but won't admit it. Ever watch someone complain about another person hogging all the limelight? It's usually a person who wants to have a lot of attention, but won't openly admit that about themselves. The shadow must be acknowledged, and indeed, embraced, according to Jung, otherwise the projections of the shadow self onto others can allow us to cause great harm and suffering to occur to others. Whenever we label something as "bad," whether that is a quality we dislike, or a person we do not respect, there is then the potential to feel vindicated in dehumanizing a person or attempting to eliminate them, and pretending that we are "all good, all just, all right." Jung would say "Own your stuff. All of it." At least, that's what I think he would say. He would say it much more eloquently. If you hate, then admit it. Then you can own it and deal with it. If you are jealous, then admit it. Then you can own it and deal with it. The healthiest individuals are able to "own their stuff." They know their strengths AND their weaknesses, and it's okay to acknowledge them instead of deny them. -  Anita Sanz 3

Dark is a one sided descriptor of a type of feeling. It is not dark unless it is developed. It is that irrational, emotional, basic animal part, which wants to have fun and get what it wants, when it wants. Hedonistic is where we all start as a means of survival. Now comes the nurture part. If the blessing of loved, belonging, being safe, and having purpose have been instilled, the maturation of the child occurs. That child learns to integrate and balance the emotional, rational and spiritual parts of being a human. If not done in a timely and succinct way, when that rational computer comes on line between 6 and 7, it is hijacked by that pissed off kid. Scheming, mean, and manipulation become the norm. If the environment is one of oppression, from social or religious restraints, you're going to have a well developed hidden side, angry at having been suppressed. That then will have evolved to THE DARK SIDE. The giveaway is; the more they profess a right, exclusive way, the more they have a dark side. Watch out. - Mike Leary, M.Ed. 4

Shady thoughts unfurl
Dark demons emerge
Virtues twist and twirl
Deception on the surge

Heart consumed by evil
Conscience up for a toss
There is good and there's devil
Don't know who's the boss

Goodness battles hard
Devil plays its cards
Confusion in the mind
To play good or dwell in crime

Black waves rock the brain
Courage goes down the drain
What's dirt and what is cream?
An answer's just a dream

Who decides what's good
And what is not so good

Anonymous Poem

All Pasages and poetry: https://www.quora.com/Does-everyone-have-a-dark-side

1, Lukas Schwekendiek, Life Coach, Speaker, Writer. Published on TIME, INC & Huffington Post.

2. Oliver Emberton, founder of Silktide. Entrepreneur, author-in-training, challenge addict, dancer, pianist, programmer, artist and general busy bee.

3. Anita Sanz. Clinical psychologist in private practice. Taught Theories of Personality, Abnormal Psychology, and Health Psychology at Stetson University

4. Mike Leary, M.Ed. Clinical Psychology & Sociology, Wichita State University, Wichita Kansas, USA (1975)

Posted for educational and informational purposes only.